He just DOES it

Not at all feeling the creative bug today, but I'm never going to make a habit of appreciating the things in my life if I don't keep on it. So today's appreciation award goes to My Husband.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Puke. But its not like that, and if you know anything at ALL about me you know I speak the truth. It's just that with all this self-searching I've been trying to do lately, my brain keeps coming back to (or God keeps redirecting me to) how much I underappreciate my husband. I don't think I underappreciate him as a parent. At least, I hope he doesn't feel like I do! B/c I KNOW how good I have it as far as baby daddy's go. I really do! I see other women and my heart just aches for them and for the kids who don't have such a great relationship with their daddy's as G does with his. The most amazing part is that he required no training. I say that half-joking, but it's so true. I never ever had a moment even in the very beginning when I wished for more help, sometimes it was just the opposite! In the middle of the night, he was up with me. He was even the one that was rewarded with G's first ever smile.

But I digress. What I've realized is that in the 9 1/2 years we've been together he has given his all to me and I don't necessarily know if I can say the same about myself. And it can all really be traced back to when we first met. Our long distance relationship got serious quickly but with me in Denver and him in Milwaukee it was clear something had to change. So I said, "I think what we have is the real thing, but I've worked too hard and wanted to be here for too long and I'm not moving back. So either you have to move here or we have to be done." What did he do? Quit his job, packed everything he owned into his Toyota and drove 18hrs straight to move in with me. Would I have done the same had the roles been reversed? I honestly don't know the answer to that, but I'm afraid it might be no.

Fast forward a few years to when I got word my mom was dying. I said, "We're moving home" and a week later, we did. In that instance, I STILL don't know if I would have done the same for him. Granted, the relationship he has/had with his parents is nothing compared to the one I have/had with mine, but still. He didn't complain once.

He puts up with shit from me that I would never tolerate from someone else. He buys me flowers just because, tells me he loves me a hundred times a day. He cleans the snow off my car and the ice off my windshield just so that I won't have to. He changes my tire in the below zero weather at 8:30 at night, takes G to do daddy/baby things so that I can have the house to myself for a few hours.

To anyone who says "That's his job, he's the husband", I say, Bullshit. And pull yourself out of the '50's while you're at it. He has no obligation to shovel so that I don't have to. He just DOES it. I don't ask, whine or beg. He just DOES it.

So my goal is to knock myself out of this taking-him-for-granted thing and maybe in 9 1/2 years he can blog about all the wonderful things I do for him. In the meantime, I can stop hoping he knows how much I love him and start showing it.