Gesundheit!

I am the self-proclaimed Sneezing Queen. I've suffered from seasonal allergies my entire life. Mine wouldn't be so bad if I weren't also allergic to book dust and cat dander, which in turn, makes nasal congestion a year round enjoyment for me. But I prefer daily suffering to ridding my life of the culprits and as a result, I'm a damn good sneezer. And thanks to genetics, Grant is not too far behind me on the Master Sneezer scale. On a sub-four foot body, a huge sneeze can have quite the reverberating effect. I know I giggle shamelessly each and every time he succumbs to a particularly large sneeze that sends his whole body into an almost possessed-like convulsion.

I love everything about sneezes. From the awesome sound of the word (who doesn't love words that contain 'z's?) to the measured, level height of all the letters. I love how every person has their own way of sneezing and how for a long time my son called a sneeze an, "achoo" and my nephew called them "bless you's".

Almost everything associated with the act of sneezing makes me giggle. So you can imagine how I rolled with laughter the other night when G called out of the bedroom: "Mom? I was reading my book and I accidentally sneezed. There's sneeze water all over my book and it won't come off. Is that okay?"

Yeah, *giggle*, you're sneeze water is just fine with me.

Confessions of a 4.5 yr old

"Mom? Umm, I didn't mean to. I was playing and um. Well. You can see when you get out of the shower. Umm. It was an accident. I had my blue crayon and um. I didn't mean to. And the blue crayon got stuck. And i didn't mean to. Actually it was my brown crayon. And I accidentally put it in the door lock thingy. And it broke. But you can just see it after your shower. Yeah. Sorry."

Mike: Hey bud, you wanna go to the library on Sunday?
G: Just you and me?
Mike: Yeah. Sound fun?
G: Um, let me check my schedule.
Mike: Wow. Unexpected.

G: Mama, if you don't get me some root beard right this second-
Me: Ex-cuse ME!?
G: If you don't---ummm---err--- I love you?
Me: That's better.
G: That's all I was gonna say. For real.

"Well, that's not fair! And I'm telling your daddy next time we go there to visit!" I wonder if Gumpa will give me a time out...

Grant picked out Mike's card all by himself. It read: "You're like a father to me". So, of course, I picked up one that read: "Honey, there's something I've been meaning to tell you..."

Mike: G, getting packing!
G: I AM! I don't know HOW many times I have to EXPLAIN this to myself!!

G's so obsessed with his lego star wars wii game that i have completely given up on telling him it's 'BOUNTY hunter', not 'bunny hunter'.

G: Twelve, firteen, fourteen, twenty nine, firty two, forty five! Oh my gosh, there's, like, forty five and a half!
Chaeli (age 4): Wow! That's so much!!
G: I know! That's like...a Hundred!!!
Chaeli: Yeah, a hundred! That's so much!

G: I have to tell you a joke. Why was the duck crossing the road?
Me: I don't know, why?
G: (looking at me like I'm an idiot, complete with hands up and snotty voice) I already telled you with the last joke, TO. GET. TO. THE. OTHER. SIDE. Stop asking and start 'membering!

Grant: Chaeli, could you please just stay here? Otherwise I'm going to call the police. You choose.

Just registered my baby for 4K. (He asked if they were going to put him in a bag. Had to explain it was different than the CASH register at the grocery store.)

G: I'm hungry.
Mike: Well, we're going to the store so you can get a snack there.
G: Can we go to a lunchrant?
Me: A what?
G: A lunchrant.
Mike: I'm sorry bud, we really don't know what you're asking.
G: (disgusted) A LUNCHRANT. You know, where you go get food and eat it there!!
Us: Ohhhhhh, a restaurant!??
G: Yes! Can we go there for lunch?

Heat Wave vs. Microwave

We are well into week two of no microwave and after the first few days of accidentally heading towards it to reheat something, we have, in 100% honesty, not missed it. Not one bit. Everything tastes so much better when heated in the oven. We haven't had to give up any of our favorites. G's favorite nuggets and burgers taste even better in the oven. Whether its the nice crispiness the oven baking creates on the food, the anticipation (and growing hunger pains) that waiting thirty minutes vs two and a half minutes creates or the slow, ever growing smell of deliciousness we've all decided that it's worth it. Even my usually "I'm-starving-right-now-and-I-can't-even-handle-it!" four year old is willing to wait 40 minutes for his beloved enchiladas.

Having no microwave has also made me more creative with whole foods. Last week we feasted for several days on fajitas after a trip to the farmer's market left us with yummy peppers and onions. I found an all but abandoned bag of dried black beans in the cupboard. I cooked those up and mixed in some of the garden fresh onions and the delicious factor was so great that with the exception of a pinch of salt, no other spices were needed.

In the spirit of this no microwave business, I'm taking any and all suggestions of your fav vegetarian recipes, so feel free to email me! (And thank you so much to KE and TL for your fabulous suggestions.) Oh and if anyone has suggestions on how to reheat pasta, please let me know. All I know is not in a pan. Not. In. A pan. Just trust me on that one.

And now for this Heat Wave business. Wow. Just when you think being stuck in the house in the middle of an icy winter with a preschooler is the worst thing possible, along comes a blistering heat wave. From inside the a/c'd house it LOOKS like it'd be a great day to play outside, but even a trip to the pool has to be short and quick (not to mention, not at all refreshing--bath water, anyone? Ugh.). So we've been trying to get creative about the indoor activities that our small house can accommodate. Lots and lots of Candyland games, many obstacle courses created from the couch cushions. I am now an expert on finding pictures of all poisonous creatures on the internet, thank you to the Wii games that help burn off 4 yr old energy levels, and books. Lots of books. We reached a book milestone yesterday that has my heart singing. Grant is now old enough to sit still for chapter books. We read our first chapter book, and he was so excited to be reading (okay, listening to) a big kid book. He's equally excited about the fact that he now has a use for a bookmark. :) So is Mommy.

It's About Time

This article just made my day. Seriously, it's about time. It never ceases to appall me (and yes, I feel THAT strongly about it) that restaurants think so little of kids' palates. It's always the same fare at each place: cheeseburger, grilled cheese, pizza, chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese (and it's usually boxed mac and cheese at that. Really? Can't even boil some noodles and add real cheese, people?). Oh sure, they throw in sides of fruit and steamed veggies in with the french fries and chocolate milk, soda, or heavily sweetened fruit juice. But why can't the MAIN part of the meal be healthier? Mike and I are very fortunate that we actually have a child who opts for the fruit or broccoli side dish (and no, we don't have to prompt him, beg him or bribe). And frankly, the portions are usually triple the size they need to be for a child anyway. Mike and I usually end up sharing our meals with G because even he gets sick of grilled cheese. I'm not saying there needs to be kid sized versions of the adult menus, though a modified version of such a thing would be nice. But would it really be that much more expensive for restaurants to expand their kids' menus a little? Maybe include a few more non-cheesy vegetarian options?

Hot time, summer in the (tiny) city

Well. Guess I'm getting an F in Blogging 101 these days. I don't really even have an excuse. Well, I could probably make up a ton or turn some of the itty bitty ones into exaggerated claims of busyness, but I'd only be lying. My summer started out busy but lately I've just been lazy.

At the end of May I quit my job at Barnes & Noble after 7 years of pure awesomeness. Okay, it wasn't ALL awesome, it's retail after all, but it was pretty darn close. It was just time to move on. Grant was finishing up school and we were faced with the prospect of having to either find a day care center--after last year's experience, no thank you--or hiring a nanny but our beloved sitter from last year had the audacity to try to further her career prospects by accepting an internship. I know, right? I was finding myself putting in more and more hours for my sister and getting increasingly burned out with the bookstore, the commute to Madison, not having enough hours in the day to get things done etc etc. So, the logical option was to quit.

Admittedly, I spent the first month post B&N pretty depressed, finding it much harder to leave my bookseller identity behind than I thought it would be. In the midst of that, I turned 36 which has oddly enough, proven to be a number I'm not that happy with. More on that in another blog.

Anyway, there seems to be only rambling going on with this post and that just goes to show how out of practice I am. I am loving my new truck, (picture it in silver, please, with tinted windows) mostly because I almost never have to drive it thereby almost never having to fill it with gas. And the times that I do have to drive it, the extra space has been much appreciated (camping, heading up north with dog and kid in tow). I am finally adjusting to being a stay at home mommy, which has actually been going smoothly thanks in large part to my sister graciously employing me to use my brain several hours a week and in part to my couldn't-function-without-her-neighbor, JK , who keeps me company so I don't go insane and in part to the Edgerton Pool which is only half a block away and only $35 for a season pass. Fantastic way to kill two hours a day and wear a kid out.

Oh, and our microwave died (well, just the heating element. You know, only the reason you have a microwave in the first place) and so in interest of eating healthier, we've decided to not replace and/or fix it. We're on day three and I'll admit I've tripped up a few times and tried to use it (we really need to get it off the kitchen counter already!) to melt cheese or reheat leftovers. But for the most part it has not been a problem. It's going to be interesting to see how we shop the next time. Will we automatically reach for prepackaged meals or will we remember we are now forced to construct our own?

Basically that's my summer so far. Grant and I have been getting along much better since I'm not constantly stressed, I feel a little more like I can breathe, I'm still contributing to the financial status of our household, (just from home and w/o the constant temptation of magazines, new releases and lattes begging for me to purchase them) and in addition, finding myself having more time to cook, read, and relax.

And...ummm...blog more? I'll try.

Woe is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Holy good Lord I am sick. I can't remember a cold EVER kicking my ass the way this one is. I suspected I'd get one as Mike had been suffering from a small one last week and my little neighbor Baby P, who I simply cannot NOT pick up and smother with kisses, has been a little sick. I probably put the final...err..nail in the coffin seems a bit to melodramtic...how about "log on the fire" by camping out in the pouring rain, having only one change of clothes thereby spending several hours literally soaked to the bone and then sleeping on the ground. Like that didn't just scream, "Immune system down!!"

I even had to call in sick to work yesterday b/c I seriously couldn't move and it killed me to have to do that b/c I only have tomorrow and three shifts next week left. I was not planning on missing a single second.

Anyway, I've been a little short tempered in the mommy department (you could tell because I usually have sooooooo much patience. *please read sarcasm here*). But that being said, G had a couple good ones today that made me laugh out loud. First, is it just ingrained in us to sing in shower? I let him take his own shower today and was serenaded, as I cleaned the kitchen, by the sweetly made-up songs of a 4 yr old singing at the top of his watery lungs. The best part? He wasn't even aware I could hear him. He was just in his own little world.

These next two I'll just write in convo form:

Me: (exasperated) I don't KNOW, Grant. I'll think about it.
G: (super positive) But, Mama! I ALREADY thinked about it, and it's a great idea!!

(Watched previously mentioned, still sick, Baby P this morning.)
G: (grossed out, teenage voice) Mama? Baby P has the boogers.
Me: (distracted, as usual) Whatever, G. He's fine, he just has a cold.
G: (snotty AND grossed out teen voice) No. Mom. The boogers are weally big. AND he's coming by me. Please, Mom. Do something. Now.

All for now. Oh, and I've been totally neglecting my appreciation part of this blog. Tonight, as usual, my appreciation goes out to my hubby. Thursdays are the nights that he online games with other gamers and he really looks forward to his one night of release. Well, he walked in the door tonight, took one look at me and said, "I got bedtime, babe. You just lay on the couch and chill." Don't you just LOVE him???

What is Wrong with Me?

There are two activities that I really despise. Running and yard work. And for some reason, in the last two days, I've done both. Awhile back I publicly declared that I was never running another step again. I gave myself permission to quit, something I almost never do. But then last week via good old Facebook, my old running coach posted that she was going to run Monday at 6:15 and anyone could join her. Before I could stop myself, before I could remind myself that I'd quit and that it was OKAY that I quit, I found myself writing her to tell her that I would be there. And I actually went. And I lived. And dammit, I actually feel good. I'm going again on Wednesday. What has gotten in to me?

Tomorrow will mark 4 years since we've signed the next 30 yrs worth of our paychecks over to Chase Mortgage. And for four years I've wanted to clean up the brush that takes up, literally, two-thirds of our yard. And for four years anytime I've attempted to do yard work, the single act of picking up a rake or donning a pair of work gloves has been enough to make me turn around and march right back into the house. Yesterday, for some unknown reason, I got the urge to work in the yard. So with Mike's help and about two and a half hours of non-stop pulling, raking, cutting and tossing, we made enough progress for me to actually *gulp* be excited for the next opportunity to get out there. Really. WHAT has gotten into me?

Henry Vilas Zoo

As a general vegetarian rule, I technically hate zoos. But I have relaxed my hatred a little bit when it comes to the Madison Zoo. It sits on a beautiful piece of property, it's free and considering Grant is not likely to go on an African Safari anytime soon, it stands right now as the best place to teach him about animals he'd only otherwise see in pictures. And when he asks why the tiger only paces back and forth all day we are not shy about explaining what his natural habitat should actually be. But animal rights aside, here's a couple photo's from today.
Grant loved this guy and asked me to take a pic. He does look pretty relaxed and happy.

Just a little more to grow before he hits walleye status.

Cutest polar bear ever.

Suddenly 6 feet 3 1/2 inches doesn't seem so tall...

You can be my wingman anytime.

Today a former co-worker invited me to a matinee special 25th Anniversary release of Top Gun. I took my bff and we had an afternoon of the wonderful kind of reminiscing that only an '80's movie can bring. Seriously, it really was fun. Cheesy line after cheesy line, hilarious 'meaningful' closeups, and all of the fun that comes from a formulaic film that you just happen to know almost every line to. Plus, it was really nice to remember how hot and un-crazy the young Tom Cruise was. And who knew Tim Robbins was in it??

And of course, I'll pay matinee prices to watch the volleyball scene any day.

Mama, why didn't you baweeve me?

(WARNING: Contains graphic picture)

Everything was going so smoothly.

I was babysitting for my neighbor JK. Foster daughter, M, was in the shower, I had Baby P in a swing and NJ (3.5 yrs) and G were playing on the trapeze bar of the swing set. NJ and G are both too short to reach the bar so the two of them, without my help, figured out that by moving the kiddie picnic table under the trapeze bar they could reach. It was awesome watching them figure out how to move it themselves. There were a few moments of trial and error as one would lift an end but the other wouldn't creating a see-saw effect. But without my interference and through much giggling, they figured they needed to lift simultaneously. I was really proud! Especially since they both have very strong personalities and alternate between being best friends and mortal enemies.

NJ knew exactly what to do: Stand on table, grab bar, swing out, swing back, put feet on table, let go. G's experience went something like this: Stand on table, grab bar, swing out, let go, fall. After one particularly hard fall he started whining for me to help him. And no matter how much he whined I just kept telling him he could do it himself, be brave. (You can see where this is going, can't you? Mom-o'-the-year-award, right?) So he gets up, grabs on, swings out, lets go, falls super hard on his butt. He fell so hard on his butt that it actually forced his head back and he whacked a corner piece underneath the table. I jumped up thinking, "Ohh this is gonna need ice" only to see him take his hand away from the back of his head dripping with blood. Sooooo, I sent NJ inside for M while I took a sec to gather my senses. You know how in an emergency you sort of stand there for a second and it's like your brain is a slot machine and everything is whirring around until suddenly, bing, bing, bing, all the cherries line up in a row and you know what to do? Well, once my brain cleared, I decided the best thing to do was to call an ambulance b/c that, at least, would give me enough to time find out a) if Mike was home yet and b) figure out what to do with the kids I was supposed to be watching. M came out of the house and immediately her poor face went pale when she saw what was going on, b/c by this time G'd bled all over the porch step and all over the lawn chair he tried to sit in (the chair is still stained. Looks like someone was shot in it.) As calmly as I could, I told her to get me the kitchen towel and then asked her to run to my house to see if Mike was home, which, thankfully he was. We heard the sirens start up (b/c literally, we are four blocks from the station. They could have walked over.) Three of the nicest paramedics helped G out. And of course I had to repeat what happened over and over for each of them. Meanwhile I also had to call JK and tell her that I was leaving the kids with M b/c I had to take my kid to the ER. And poor M was kind of shell shocked. I sort of shoved the baby at her and said, "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'll come back as soon as I can." Then I went home to get the car and Mike went w/ G in the ambulance even though it turns out he refused to get into it unless they promised to drive slowly and not turn on the sirens. :) Anyway, to the ER we go, where I have to recount the story four more times, feeling guiltier and guiltier with each telling. Soooo, to wrap up this long ass story, five stitches and one super brave little boy later, we went home and Mike ran to Culvers to get everyone strawberry shakes. :) And his stitches are out now and with the exception of every once in a while asking, "Mama, why didn't you baweeve me when I telled you I need you to catch me?" all of us have healed.

Here's before the stitches (but after he was cleaned up):

Phone vs Toilet: and the winner is....

The toilet, hands down. So no texting for me for awhile, which is probably good considering I am constantly over my monthly allowance anyway. My phone is currently in pieces in a bowl of rice b/c several people have recommended that method for drying it out. We'll see. It's hard to be w/o one though. Esp since our home phone is on the fritz and we had to unplug it. It dialed 911 for us. Wasn't that nice of it? Of course, it should have waited for an emergency. Or, you know, at the very least for us to be home at the time. I'm sure those poor firemen had better things to do.

So Hard to Say Goodbye

We knew it would happen someday. You can't have five pets and think that they're all going to live forever. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept. Today I had to make the decision to put Jasmine down. She was originally one of my parent's cats that Mike and I took into our home after my mom passed away. She was sassy and sweet and talkative and so social. She loved greeting new people, purred the loudest and chirped every single time you touched her. She was the most laid back girl and we loved every minute of having her in our life. I found this picture and it's unrecognizable compared to what she was today. This picture is of the robust, healthy 11 lb kitty. Two years of struggling with hyperthyroidism, left her at a skeletal 3.5 lbs. The vet was phenomenal. She's been working with me all this time to try the best combo of meds, we had every test possible done. But as most of us know too well, you can't win them all. I called the clinic today and left a message for sweet Dr. Kim. Within a half an hour she called me back and told me to bring Jazzy and she'd squeeze me in between patients. She took one look at my face and one look at Jasmine and said, "Sweetie, you are doing the right thing." She let me stay while she put her down and took my payment right there so I wouldn't have to deal with the front desk at all. She sent me on my way with a huge hug and a "it's all better now". Grant was with me and as this was his first real lesson on death, he handled it like a champ. While we're not overly religious people, I have found that using God as an explanation has helped him understand a lot of the little things in life. Through his own tears, he touched my arm and said, "Don't cry, Mommy. I think Jazzy will like God a lot. And she'll have fun while she's waiting up there for you!" My mom's birthday is coming up this Sunday the 6th and I've decided that she must have thought that having Jazzy join her was a good birthday present. As Dr. Kim wrapped Jazzy in a blanket and we headed towards the door, Grant and I both said, "Say hi to Grandma for us! She's going to be so happy to have you back."

Good bye, Jazzy. You were the most wonderful cat and we are honored that you chose our family to love.

And, Happy birthday, Mom. Give Jazzy a kiss for us.

Undergarments Optional

I have three jobs. Did you know that? I have three jobs. Well, correction: I have three jobs that I receive monetary compensation for performing. In actuality my job titles for both my paid and unpaid range in the double digits but that's another post altogether.

Job one I acquired six years ago in Denver. I was sick to death of my crappy legal secretary/paralegal position for an equally crappy boss, so I began 'moonlighting' as a bookseller. It didn't take long before I realized that while the pay was (much) less than the legal position, book selling made me happy. I was excited to go to work again! That was a feeling I hadn't experienced since my days as a preschool/daycare provider. And what a liberating feeling that was. After a few months, Mike and I agreed to tighten our purse strings and let me quit the law firm and take on book selling full time. Best. Decision. Ever. The flexibility of the job has allowed me to rearrange my schedule whenever the need arises. I don't have to cringe with fear at the prospect of calling out when I have to stay home with a sick kid. I get to meet super interesting people and work with the most incredible staff. And best of all? It's my job to read so that I know what I'm selling! Does it GET any better? (Well, maybe if I were a food critic...)

My second job came about a year and a half ago when my bff saw her business take off to a point where she found herself needing some outside help. At the time I was toying with the idea of taking on a second job, one where I could work from home since I'd dropped my hours at the bookstore to stay at home with our son. I volunteered to do some data entry work for her and since then she's been sending contract work my way every few months. Even though the things I do for her only take up two or three days of my time every few months, I can't really describe how fun it is to help her. My bff is so successful that she *giggle* needs MY help! :)

The third job is very similar to my second in that I am able to witness the amazing effects of another person's success. A few years back, my sister started her own shop in order to sell her work. Little did she, or anyone, know just how successful she'd be. Let's just say that in addition to all of the time she, personally, puts into her shop, her husband has quit his job to become her full time assistant and I am now her almost-full time assistant. A little bit before Christmas, she asked if I'd come aboard as the 'official email answer-er' (I'm thinking of creating a nameplate for my desk that says that.) to help keep her head above water. What started as a two or three hour a day project has now become a five to six hour a day, six days a week job. Apparently, I'm such a good 'official email answer-er', that I have become the 'order confirmation expert' and 'feedback giver expert'. (I'm going to need a bigger desk...) But the best part of this job is that for several hours a day, I am able to video chat with my sister, brother-in-law and 3 1/2 yr old nephew. And two cousins who live states apart, get to see and talk to each other every day.

It's funny because with all those jobs, only one of which I am able to do without also having to be full time mommy, you'd think I'd be a lot more overwhelmed. And while I certainly have my days, I think I'm just so HAPPY with all of these jobs that I don't stop to think about it. One job I get to socialize and talk books, touch books, smell, organize and display books. The other two I can do in my pajamas. Of course I am very aware of how fortunate I am to have multiple jobs in an economy where so many people don't even have one. But it's so nice to be able to say that simply having a job is not what makes me thankful. It's who I work for and with and what I do that makes these jobs so fabulous. Plus, there's really something to be said about being able to work without having to put on a bra.

Victoria's Secret Peach Body Lotion.

Every night after a shower and just before bed, with the clean, humid scent of shampoo and soap still in the air my mother would moisturize her skin with Victoria's Secret Peach Body Lotion. Then she'd sit cross legged on her bed to file her nails. She had this down-to-an-art-form ritual of pushing back her cuticles with the little rubber tip of her nail file, cleaning her fingernails, filing them to precisely rounded tips and finishing it off with special cuticle cream. I used to love to sit and watch her during this nightly routine. We'd talk about our day or discuss the plot of our new favorite book, but mostly I just watched. She had the most beautiful hands. Artist's hands. I would marvel at the gently bulging blue veins on the backs and the strong perfect fingers. And soft. So soft. I never grew out of loving, no, needing to hold her hand. When I was young and suffering from severe bouts of car sickness, she'd turn around in her seat, reach her arm over the headrest and take my hand. Who knows how many hundreds of miles she sat like that just to hold my hand. As I got older and succumbed to hours and hours of depression caused sobs, her hands would hold mine and stroke my hair and rub my back.

And when she was dying and she would have days of unconsciousness, I would lay on the floor next to her bed just so I could hold her hand. And when she finally passed away, she did so with those hands curled up next to her face in a pose so peaceful even the coroner couldn't help but comment on the loveliness.

Sometimes, late at night when I'm sad or lonely or missing her so badly my whole body feels ready to shatter into a thousand pieces, I am comforted by her hands. I envision them so vividly and feel their warm, soft, strength so perfectly I can almost fool myself into thinking that for a moment she's slipped her hand into mine. Sometimes I swear I can even feel a gentle squeeze. And always, I smell the Victoria's Secret Peach Body Lotion.

Can I get a GO, PACK, GO!! ?

It's snowing again. Of course. Because we didn't get enough the other day. And after spending most of last week down and out with the flu, I now have a crazy painful chest cold. But who cares. IT'S SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!! And for the first time since college, the Packers are in it! So in honor of this fab day that I think still has most of WI in a state of awe and excitement, and as a little shout out to my home town, here are a few of my favorite Packer pics.

GO, PACK, GO!!!

Snowy, blowy appreciation

With the first month of the new year drawing to a snowy, blizzardy close, it seems the perfect time to curl up and do some writing. In this first month, I have kept (fairly) consistent with my new blog, have not only stayed on track with ww's but managed to drop 11 lbs, and today I actually ran. Weeeeellll, that's stretching the truth a little. I got on the treadmill and walked briskly (while watching part of Season 1 of Modern Family--haven't watched it? Do! It's fabulous!) using weights for 10 mins and then I ran for two minutes. A far lonely cry from the 6 or 7 MILES I used to run, but considering I'm starting from scratch after not having run anything in months, it's well...a start.

I think a big key to my success thus far has been taking things one day at a time. I am a very...shall we say...efficiency oriented person. Always tackling a task with the single-minded goal of getting it done. Quite often I breeze through the things I do so quickly, so focused on the end result that I miss out on the whole point of doing certain things. As hard as I try to not have regrets, I actually regret allowing that part of my personality to take over for much of my college career. I was always so focused on getting the project/portfolio/poem/essay/lesson plan completed that I retained very little of anything I actually did in college. Simply put, I never took the time to learn. And with my last time around following ww's, my goal was, again, single-minded: to lose weight as much and as fast as possible. Too bad it was such a surprise to me when the weight came back on. This time, I'm going one day at a time and learning how to eat right and stay fit. Because this time I am going to learn how to keep it off.

And in keeping up with my appreciating the things in my life, today I am appreciating snowy days for allowing me to reflect on things in my life, for doing puzzles and playing Wii fit with my kid, and having my husband home safely from work.

1 Month Well-Blog Check

It's been a little over a month since starting this blog and I have to admit, I'm pretty impressed with myself for not giving up. What's more impressive is that it seems to be working. Even when I'm not thinking about the blog, I find myself consciously trying to cut myself some slack and appreciate things around me.

These last couple of days serve as a good example. Our fridge died on Saturday night. Instead of being angry at our misfortune, Mike and I just shrugged our shoulders and loaded food into storage bins and set them on the back porch. Immediately, this made both of us appreciate winter in the upper mid-west not to mention our good fortune that the fridge went out now instead of six months from now. I will admit that it's been a frustrating few days. Having to go outside in the snow just to make a salad, never mind answer the demands of a growing 4 yr old's hungry belly, has been a quite a hassle. We tried to look at it as camping in our own home. I was even able to convince myself to stay on my newly acquired weight watcher's plan. In the past, a situation like this would have been all the excuse I needed to go off plan and insist on dinner out every night. This time I just made it work. Today the repairman came and was able to fix the fridge with a part that he happened to have right in the truck. He even let G "help" him. And the best part (other than we now have cold food) was that the cost came in $30 under our $200 budget-limit.

Writing this blog has been so helpful that it doesn't even matter if no one reads it. It has been a good way for me to keep myself in check. I had four things on my to-be-improved list: strengthen self-esteem, run more, work on my weight and appreciate life. Okay, I'm still working on number two, but so far so good on the others.

So c'mon, Month 2. Bring it.

Picture time

I thought it was time to post some pictures. The first one was taken about two weeks ago. The others are from summer and fall of 2010.


Catching some air


G-Cat walking the A-Dog. (Please note my husband in the background digging through the candy bag.)


Digging into the awesome cake that step-grandma Barb and her sis, Jacki made. Delish!


One of my fav candid shots of G and my dad


Cousins and best buds!



Pretty much my fav pic ever.

Thanks for looking! Maybe someday I'll post shots that don't center around my kid. Yeah...probably not...

What a difference a little love makes

This time last year I was convinced I'd spawned the devil's own. The terrible three's hit us and they hit hard. Our sweet little boy had become aggressive and violent, so much so that I literally feared taking him places where there might be other children. He hit, kicked and bit more often than anyone at that age should. Violence was his first method of communication, even though he was very capable of verbalizing his thoughts and feelings. He grasped the idea that hitting gave him the results he wanted quicker than words did and he ran with that.

It was around this time we started getting bad reports and bad vibes from the daycare center. Everything from the director was disguised as love and compassion, but hindsight lets me see that she really had a hidden agenda.

We'd always known that G has some mild social anxiety. But this aggression was new stuff. Unfortunately, the very people who were supposed to help us figure out how to deal with the behavior were the very ones almost encouraging it. It turns out his director saw an opportunity to get a 'labeled' child out of the deal (and in turn, money from the state to 'help') and she began to push us to 'do something'. Every day I came to pick him up, I was greeted by bad reports and 'come into my office' and calls at work. She was constantly pushing me to have him seen by 'the best of the best', a therapist who charged $190/hr, insisted that it would take at least 10 sessions to find out what was wrong and did a lot of referrals to G's center. Even after I told the director the therapist was not covered by our insurance she still insisted every day that something was wrong and that he needed to be evaluated. Of course, she never said WHAT he should be evaluated for.

Oddly enough, his teacher had nowhere near the bad things to say about him. After six months (yes, I was naive enough to let myself think for that long that it was my fault) I started noticing that each and every time his teacher found something that worked to curb G's behavior, within a week the director would somehow change things up so that his teacher could no longer apply her techniques. And I really REALLY wish I was exaggerating. Like I said, it took me 6 months to figure this out. By the time we pulled him from the center, the director had looked me straight in the eye said, "Nothing will help this child."

Utterly devastated, pissed off and with no idea where to go from there, I talked to everyone I could. I talked at length to a county child social worker, took him to see another county social worker, took him to the pediatrician, had him evaluated for Head Start, and talked to every mom of every 'problem' child I could think of. The unanimous consensus? A smart, energetic three year old in a very under-stimulating negative environment.

After a few months of babysitters I took the recommendation of a customer at work and looked into a nationally accredited certified preschool located in Madison. It was love at first sight. He's been enrolled there since Thanksgiving and thriving. He has never been happier. He's actually LEARNING things and making friends. His teachers are amazing, every staff member is trained in the exact same form of discipline and open communication between parents and teachers is practically enforced.

Next week we have our very first parent/teacher conference. In preparation, the teachers gave us a developmental checklist of things they have observed in each child. This is what their note said:

"Grant has been such a wonderful addition to our class this semester! Even though he has only been here for about five weeks his progress has been amazing! His ability to follow directions, sit at circle, and understand the general flow and routine of the room are just a few examples of the things that Grant has been able to recognize and master. He definitely displays age appropriate skills; sorting, large motor control and asking correct questions. Grant has such a warm heart and genuinely loves to interact with peers. Again, we feel so fortunate to have Grant a part of our class."

I cried.

Grant-isms

G has been especially hilarious this week so I thought I'd post a few.

Tonight he was trying to stall bedtime by trying to convince me that he was starving.
G: But I need my growing food!
Me: You've already had dinner. Lay down and cover up.
G: (starting to fake sob) But if I don't have my growing food my heart will stop beep-beeping! (sobbing elevating) and if my heart stops beep-beeping then I will get dead!!! (Full on sobs) And I just don't wanna get dead! So you have to feed me!!!


After the Packer's first round playoff win last Sunday, Mike and I were kind of crazy shouting.
G: When I grow up and be, like, 10, I want to be a football guy so you guys will cheer like that for me!
(I think Mike might have cried a little.)


"Mom! I just made a big mess...Umm....can you say, 'That be fine, G'?"

Playing with the neighbor girls in the other room, I hear one of them start to cry. So G immediately shouts, "It wasn't me! I promise I didn't do it!"

All for now. :)

A Very Good Week

The first full week of the new year has passed and I'm excited to report that it was a Very Good Week. For starters, even though it's been super duper cold, at least the sun has been shining which always helps the old mood stay positive.

Things in the world of retail are starting to slow down, finally giving us time to get product back onto the shelves and do some thorough cleaning. Who knew books could generate so much dust!? Well, okay, I did but it's still a shock to see what happens to the store when no one's had a chance to take dust rag to shelf in two months. While it's hard to get used to not having customers breathing down your neck every time you turn around, there's something to be said for the quiet, calm after the storm that allows us to breathe and get our environment back into a respectable order.

On the school front, G started back at preschool after his two week winter break and he could not have been more excited. Wednesday was his 'special day' at school. We were in charge of bringing snack (whole wheat club crackers and string cheese) and he got to take in a special toy to talk about. He chose a new remote control (or as he says, "remotka controler") car that actually lights up and can do little tricks that he got for Christmas. He then got to choose a little beanie stuffed toy to bring home along with the classroom journal to be used to write about the adventures of the toy. He choose a purple-y bluish lizard aptly named Lizzie. I was pretty sure he wouldn't care about the journal but the next day when I asked if he'd like to draw a picture of something he and Lizzie did together, he readily agreed. To my surprise he took his time and drew all over the journal page. He drew the spiky blue of the lizard's back and a very recognizable rendition of the black trampoline that he and Lizzie jumped on. Then he had me write three little sentences about their day. My favorite? Sentence number two, "Thank you bery much for yetting me bring Yizzie home to mine house." How sweet is that?? How many preschoolers are far enough out of the Ego stage to acknowledge that something is a privilege? So sweet.

In other news, my neighbor nudged me to join (or re-join, in my case) Weight Watchers. I had originally told her I had to think long and hard about it b/c I was tired of paying money to fail. But that's only half true. I had great success the one time I really had my head in the game. And after some soul searching, I have once again gotten my head where it needs to be. So on Thursday evening, we bundled ourselves up and walked the briskly cold 3/4 of a mile to the meeting. And I'm very glad I did. I feel better both mentally and physically already. Success stories to come, I'm confident.

I also got to text with an old sweet friend this week. I know it sounds silly to just text but when you have a four year old, sometimes talking on the phone is really NOT possible. (And honestly, sometimes texting isn't either!) Facebook has been our favored means of communication but my friend is going through some tough stuff right now and I suspected there were things he didn't want to share with me in a setting where all our mutual friends would be privy to our conversation. So I offered up my phone and shortly thereafter our text chat began. It was nothing special, nothing exciting. It was just what it sounds like, two old friends catching up. But I know it brightened my day and I hope it did the same to his.

The week was topped off by an awesome weekend of no plans. Saturday morning, G and I took Abbydog and the sled and walked the two blocks to the elementary school playground. We met the neighbors and managed to sled for almost a whole half an hour before the bitter, and I mean, B-I-T-T-E-R wind took it's toll. Even the dog decided it was time to be done and tried to get me to open the school door for her. But it didn't dampen our moods as we all headed home and reconvened in the neighbors living room with hot chocolate. G and NJ played fabulously together (they more often than not act as opposite sides of a pair of magnets, going out of their ways to repel each other) and even asked to play again after nap. And to top it all off, my husband (who just asked if I needed help spelling "supertasticly awesome husband") let me sleep in this morning and then took G to the library for some daddy/baby play time. I had two hours of complete silence to drink my tea and read the no-longer-new Barbara Kingsolver that I've been dying to start for many many months.

So that's that. Not a very creative writing-esque post and no waxing philosophical. Just the appreciation of a very good week. Here's to keeping the 'streak' alive.

Good Riddance 2010!

The single act of chucking last year's calendar was such a release that I dare say my 2011 is already complete. 2010 was such a crazy mix of things I couldn't change no matter how hard I tried and those I tried to change but failed b/c I had no idea how to start. And the worst of all were those that I couldn't change b/c I had no control over them. (Those are the ones that I am the worst at accepting.) So basically, it's probably pretty safe to say that 2011 will be better simply by NOT being 2010.

We're off to a good start already on this January the first. We finally found a preschool willing to nurture and love our child instead of one desperately trying to find something wrong with him just to get funding for a 'labeled' student. We're out of the terrible three's and into the loving, hilarious, and more mature four's. Basically, we have our sweet, compassionate goof ball back. Who, by the way, has taken to calling me "Em". "Hey, Em? Can I have some water please?" I'm also known as "Emilie", "Honey" and my fav, "Feetie pie" (sweetie pie).

The other big change that guarantees this year will be better is a mother-in-law-free home. Having not only survived two years of living with my father but actually coming out of that experience completely unscathed, I don't think anyone could have predicted just HOW wrongly things would go by inviting MIL into our home. What was supposed to be a healing period for her turned into a test of our marriage that at times looked like we really were not equipped to pass. Never has the adage "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" been more apropos. While she only physically stayed with us for 6 weeks, the emotional damage she created is only now, many months later, fading away. In these last months our almost 10 year relationship has taken some heavy blows. But our communication skills have improved immensely and our (okay, MY) tempers have tapered. I dare say we're starting to feel invincible.

Some of the other things that I know are going to make 2011 a better year are: the continued growth of friendship btwn my neighbors AK and JK; the amazing awesomeness that is my job and co-workers; and another year spent only 3 1/2 hrs away from my dad, his wife and their fabulously relaxing and welcoming home away from home.

Oh yeah, plus all the things I'm going to continue to make myself appreciate daily.

Today's appreciation: My life.

Happy New Year, friends. I love you all.