Confessions of a 4.5 yr old

"Mom? Umm, I didn't mean to. I was playing and um. Well. You can see when you get out of the shower. Umm. It was an accident. I had my blue crayon and um. I didn't mean to. And the blue crayon got stuck. And i didn't mean to. Actually it was my brown crayon. And I accidentally put it in the door lock thingy. And it broke. But you can just see it after your shower. Yeah. Sorry."

Mike: Hey bud, you wanna go to the library on Sunday?
G: Just you and me?
Mike: Yeah. Sound fun?
G: Um, let me check my schedule.
Mike: Wow. Unexpected.

G: Mama, if you don't get me some root beard right this second-
Me: Ex-cuse ME!?
G: If you don't---ummm---err--- I love you?
Me: That's better.
G: That's all I was gonna say. For real.

"Well, that's not fair! And I'm telling your daddy next time we go there to visit!" I wonder if Gumpa will give me a time out...

Grant picked out Mike's card all by himself. It read: "You're like a father to me". So, of course, I picked up one that read: "Honey, there's something I've been meaning to tell you..."

Mike: G, getting packing!
G: I AM! I don't know HOW many times I have to EXPLAIN this to myself!!

G's so obsessed with his lego star wars wii game that i have completely given up on telling him it's 'BOUNTY hunter', not 'bunny hunter'.

G: Twelve, firteen, fourteen, twenty nine, firty two, forty five! Oh my gosh, there's, like, forty five and a half!
Chaeli (age 4): Wow! That's so much!!
G: I know! That's like...a Hundred!!!
Chaeli: Yeah, a hundred! That's so much!

G: I have to tell you a joke. Why was the duck crossing the road?
Me: I don't know, why?
G: (looking at me like I'm an idiot, complete with hands up and snotty voice) I already telled you with the last joke, TO. GET. TO. THE. OTHER. SIDE. Stop asking and start 'membering!

Grant: Chaeli, could you please just stay here? Otherwise I'm going to call the police. You choose.

Just registered my baby for 4K. (He asked if they were going to put him in a bag. Had to explain it was different than the CASH register at the grocery store.)

G: I'm hungry.
Mike: Well, we're going to the store so you can get a snack there.
G: Can we go to a lunchrant?
Me: A what?
G: A lunchrant.
Mike: I'm sorry bud, we really don't know what you're asking.
G: (disgusted) A LUNCHRANT. You know, where you go get food and eat it there!!
Us: Ohhhhhh, a restaurant!??
G: Yes! Can we go there for lunch?