With the first month of the new year drawing to a snowy, blizzardy close, it seems the perfect time to curl up and do some writing. In this first month, I have kept (fairly) consistent with my new blog, have not only stayed on track with ww's but managed to drop 11 lbs, and today I actually ran. Weeeeellll, that's stretching the truth a little. I got on the treadmill and walked briskly (while watching part of Season 1 of Modern Family--haven't watched it? Do! It's fabulous!) using weights for 10 mins and then I ran for two minutes. A far lonely cry from the 6 or 7 MILES I used to run, but considering I'm starting from scratch after not having run anything in months, it's well...a start.
I think a big key to my success thus far has been taking things one day at a time. I am a very...shall we say...efficiency oriented person. Always tackling a task with the single-minded goal of getting it done. Quite often I breeze through the things I do so quickly, so focused on the end result that I miss out on the whole point of doing certain things. As hard as I try to not have regrets, I actually regret allowing that part of my personality to take over for much of my college career. I was always so focused on getting the project/portfolio/poem/essay/lesson plan completed that I retained very little of anything I actually did in college. Simply put, I never took the time to learn. And with my last time around following ww's, my goal was, again, single-minded: to lose weight as much and as fast as possible. Too bad it was such a surprise to me when the weight came back on. This time, I'm going one day at a time and learning how to eat right and stay fit. Because this time I am going to learn how to keep it off.
And in keeping up with my appreciating the things in my life, today I am appreciating snowy days for allowing me to reflect on things in my life, for doing puzzles and playing Wii fit with my kid, and having my husband home safely from work.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
1 Month Well-Blog Check
It's been a little over a month since starting this blog and I have to admit, I'm pretty impressed with myself for not giving up. What's more impressive is that it seems to be working. Even when I'm not thinking about the blog, I find myself consciously trying to cut myself some slack and appreciate things around me.
These last couple of days serve as a good example. Our fridge died on Saturday night. Instead of being angry at our misfortune, Mike and I just shrugged our shoulders and loaded food into storage bins and set them on the back porch. Immediately, this made both of us appreciate winter in the upper mid-west not to mention our good fortune that the fridge went out now instead of six months from now. I will admit that it's been a frustrating few days. Having to go outside in the snow just to make a salad, never mind answer the demands of a growing 4 yr old's hungry belly, has been a quite a hassle. We tried to look at it as camping in our own home. I was even able to convince myself to stay on my newly acquired weight watcher's plan. In the past, a situation like this would have been all the excuse I needed to go off plan and insist on dinner out every night. This time I just made it work. Today the repairman came and was able to fix the fridge with a part that he happened to have right in the truck. He even let G "help" him. And the best part (other than we now have cold food) was that the cost came in $30 under our $200 budget-limit.
Writing this blog has been so helpful that it doesn't even matter if no one reads it. It has been a good way for me to keep myself in check. I had four things on my to-be-improved list: strengthen self-esteem, run more, work on my weight and appreciate life. Okay, I'm still working on number two, but so far so good on the others.
So c'mon, Month 2. Bring it.
These last couple of days serve as a good example. Our fridge died on Saturday night. Instead of being angry at our misfortune, Mike and I just shrugged our shoulders and loaded food into storage bins and set them on the back porch. Immediately, this made both of us appreciate winter in the upper mid-west not to mention our good fortune that the fridge went out now instead of six months from now. I will admit that it's been a frustrating few days. Having to go outside in the snow just to make a salad, never mind answer the demands of a growing 4 yr old's hungry belly, has been a quite a hassle. We tried to look at it as camping in our own home. I was even able to convince myself to stay on my newly acquired weight watcher's plan. In the past, a situation like this would have been all the excuse I needed to go off plan and insist on dinner out every night. This time I just made it work. Today the repairman came and was able to fix the fridge with a part that he happened to have right in the truck. He even let G "help" him. And the best part (other than we now have cold food) was that the cost came in $30 under our $200 budget-limit.
Writing this blog has been so helpful that it doesn't even matter if no one reads it. It has been a good way for me to keep myself in check. I had four things on my to-be-improved list: strengthen self-esteem, run more, work on my weight and appreciate life. Okay, I'm still working on number two, but so far so good on the others.
So c'mon, Month 2. Bring it.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Picture time
I thought it was time to post some pictures. The first one was taken about two weeks ago. The others are from summer and fall of 2010.
Catching some air
G-Cat walking the A-Dog. (Please note my husband in the background digging through the candy bag.)
Digging into the awesome cake that step-grandma Barb and her sis, Jacki made. Delish!
One of my fav candid shots of G and my dad
Cousins and best buds!
Pretty much my fav pic ever.
Thanks for looking! Maybe someday I'll post shots that don't center around my kid. Yeah...probably not...
Catching some air
G-Cat walking the A-Dog. (Please note my husband in the background digging through the candy bag.)
Digging into the awesome cake that step-grandma Barb and her sis, Jacki made. Delish!
One of my fav candid shots of G and my dad
Cousins and best buds!
Pretty much my fav pic ever.
Thanks for looking! Maybe someday I'll post shots that don't center around my kid. Yeah...probably not...
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
What a difference a little love makes
This time last year I was convinced I'd spawned the devil's own. The terrible three's hit us and they hit hard. Our sweet little boy had become aggressive and violent, so much so that I literally feared taking him places where there might be other children. He hit, kicked and bit more often than anyone at that age should. Violence was his first method of communication, even though he was very capable of verbalizing his thoughts and feelings. He grasped the idea that hitting gave him the results he wanted quicker than words did and he ran with that.
It was around this time we started getting bad reports and bad vibes from the daycare center. Everything from the director was disguised as love and compassion, but hindsight lets me see that she really had a hidden agenda.
We'd always known that G has some mild social anxiety. But this aggression was new stuff. Unfortunately, the very people who were supposed to help us figure out how to deal with the behavior were the very ones almost encouraging it. It turns out his director saw an opportunity to get a 'labeled' child out of the deal (and in turn, money from the state to 'help') and she began to push us to 'do something'. Every day I came to pick him up, I was greeted by bad reports and 'come into my office' and calls at work. She was constantly pushing me to have him seen by 'the best of the best', a therapist who charged $190/hr, insisted that it would take at least 10 sessions to find out what was wrong and did a lot of referrals to G's center. Even after I told the director the therapist was not covered by our insurance she still insisted every day that something was wrong and that he needed to be evaluated. Of course, she never said WHAT he should be evaluated for.
Oddly enough, his teacher had nowhere near the bad things to say about him. After six months (yes, I was naive enough to let myself think for that long that it was my fault) I started noticing that each and every time his teacher found something that worked to curb G's behavior, within a week the director would somehow change things up so that his teacher could no longer apply her techniques. And I really REALLY wish I was exaggerating. Like I said, it took me 6 months to figure this out. By the time we pulled him from the center, the director had looked me straight in the eye said, "Nothing will help this child."
Utterly devastated, pissed off and with no idea where to go from there, I talked to everyone I could. I talked at length to a county child social worker, took him to see another county social worker, took him to the pediatrician, had him evaluated for Head Start, and talked to every mom of every 'problem' child I could think of. The unanimous consensus? A smart, energetic three year old in a very under-stimulating negative environment.
After a few months of babysitters I took the recommendation of a customer at work and looked into a nationally accredited certified preschool located in Madison. It was love at first sight. He's been enrolled there since Thanksgiving and thriving. He has never been happier. He's actually LEARNING things and making friends. His teachers are amazing, every staff member is trained in the exact same form of discipline and open communication between parents and teachers is practically enforced.
Next week we have our very first parent/teacher conference. In preparation, the teachers gave us a developmental checklist of things they have observed in each child. This is what their note said:
"Grant has been such a wonderful addition to our class this semester! Even though he has only been here for about five weeks his progress has been amazing! His ability to follow directions, sit at circle, and understand the general flow and routine of the room are just a few examples of the things that Grant has been able to recognize and master. He definitely displays age appropriate skills; sorting, large motor control and asking correct questions. Grant has such a warm heart and genuinely loves to interact with peers. Again, we feel so fortunate to have Grant a part of our class."
I cried.
It was around this time we started getting bad reports and bad vibes from the daycare center. Everything from the director was disguised as love and compassion, but hindsight lets me see that she really had a hidden agenda.
We'd always known that G has some mild social anxiety. But this aggression was new stuff. Unfortunately, the very people who were supposed to help us figure out how to deal with the behavior were the very ones almost encouraging it. It turns out his director saw an opportunity to get a 'labeled' child out of the deal (and in turn, money from the state to 'help') and she began to push us to 'do something'. Every day I came to pick him up, I was greeted by bad reports and 'come into my office' and calls at work. She was constantly pushing me to have him seen by 'the best of the best', a therapist who charged $190/hr, insisted that it would take at least 10 sessions to find out what was wrong and did a lot of referrals to G's center. Even after I told the director the therapist was not covered by our insurance she still insisted every day that something was wrong and that he needed to be evaluated. Of course, she never said WHAT he should be evaluated for.
Oddly enough, his teacher had nowhere near the bad things to say about him. After six months (yes, I was naive enough to let myself think for that long that it was my fault) I started noticing that each and every time his teacher found something that worked to curb G's behavior, within a week the director would somehow change things up so that his teacher could no longer apply her techniques. And I really REALLY wish I was exaggerating. Like I said, it took me 6 months to figure this out. By the time we pulled him from the center, the director had looked me straight in the eye said, "Nothing will help this child."
Utterly devastated, pissed off and with no idea where to go from there, I talked to everyone I could. I talked at length to a county child social worker, took him to see another county social worker, took him to the pediatrician, had him evaluated for Head Start, and talked to every mom of every 'problem' child I could think of. The unanimous consensus? A smart, energetic three year old in a very under-stimulating negative environment.
After a few months of babysitters I took the recommendation of a customer at work and looked into a nationally accredited certified preschool located in Madison. It was love at first sight. He's been enrolled there since Thanksgiving and thriving. He has never been happier. He's actually LEARNING things and making friends. His teachers are amazing, every staff member is trained in the exact same form of discipline and open communication between parents and teachers is practically enforced.
Next week we have our very first parent/teacher conference. In preparation, the teachers gave us a developmental checklist of things they have observed in each child. This is what their note said:
"Grant has been such a wonderful addition to our class this semester! Even though he has only been here for about five weeks his progress has been amazing! His ability to follow directions, sit at circle, and understand the general flow and routine of the room are just a few examples of the things that Grant has been able to recognize and master. He definitely displays age appropriate skills; sorting, large motor control and asking correct questions. Grant has such a warm heart and genuinely loves to interact with peers. Again, we feel so fortunate to have Grant a part of our class."
I cried.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Grant-isms
G has been especially hilarious this week so I thought I'd post a few.
Tonight he was trying to stall bedtime by trying to convince me that he was starving.
G: But I need my growing food!
Me: You've already had dinner. Lay down and cover up.
G: (starting to fake sob) But if I don't have my growing food my heart will stop beep-beeping! (sobbing elevating) and if my heart stops beep-beeping then I will get dead!!! (Full on sobs) And I just don't wanna get dead! So you have to feed me!!!
After the Packer's first round playoff win last Sunday, Mike and I were kind of crazy shouting.
G: When I grow up and be, like, 10, I want to be a football guy so you guys will cheer like that for me!
(I think Mike might have cried a little.)
"Mom! I just made a big mess...Umm....can you say, 'That be fine, G'?"
Playing with the neighbor girls in the other room, I hear one of them start to cry. So G immediately shouts, "It wasn't me! I promise I didn't do it!"
All for now. :)
Tonight he was trying to stall bedtime by trying to convince me that he was starving.
G: But I need my growing food!
Me: You've already had dinner. Lay down and cover up.
G: (starting to fake sob) But if I don't have my growing food my heart will stop beep-beeping! (sobbing elevating) and if my heart stops beep-beeping then I will get dead!!! (Full on sobs) And I just don't wanna get dead! So you have to feed me!!!
After the Packer's first round playoff win last Sunday, Mike and I were kind of crazy shouting.
G: When I grow up and be, like, 10, I want to be a football guy so you guys will cheer like that for me!
(I think Mike might have cried a little.)
"Mom! I just made a big mess...Umm....can you say, 'That be fine, G'?"
Playing with the neighbor girls in the other room, I hear one of them start to cry. So G immediately shouts, "It wasn't me! I promise I didn't do it!"
All for now. :)
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A Very Good Week
The first full week of the new year has passed and I'm excited to report that it was a Very Good Week. For starters, even though it's been super duper cold, at least the sun has been shining which always helps the old mood stay positive.
Things in the world of retail are starting to slow down, finally giving us time to get product back onto the shelves and do some thorough cleaning. Who knew books could generate so much dust!? Well, okay, I did but it's still a shock to see what happens to the store when no one's had a chance to take dust rag to shelf in two months. While it's hard to get used to not having customers breathing down your neck every time you turn around, there's something to be said for the quiet, calm after the storm that allows us to breathe and get our environment back into a respectable order.
On the school front, G started back at preschool after his two week winter break and he could not have been more excited. Wednesday was his 'special day' at school. We were in charge of bringing snack (whole wheat club crackers and string cheese) and he got to take in a special toy to talk about. He chose a new remote control (or as he says, "remotka controler") car that actually lights up and can do little tricks that he got for Christmas. He then got to choose a little beanie stuffed toy to bring home along with the classroom journal to be used to write about the adventures of the toy. He choose a purple-y bluish lizard aptly named Lizzie. I was pretty sure he wouldn't care about the journal but the next day when I asked if he'd like to draw a picture of something he and Lizzie did together, he readily agreed. To my surprise he took his time and drew all over the journal page. He drew the spiky blue of the lizard's back and a very recognizable rendition of the black trampoline that he and Lizzie jumped on. Then he had me write three little sentences about their day. My favorite? Sentence number two, "Thank you bery much for yetting me bring Yizzie home to mine house." How sweet is that?? How many preschoolers are far enough out of the Ego stage to acknowledge that something is a privilege? So sweet.
In other news, my neighbor nudged me to join (or re-join, in my case) Weight Watchers. I had originally told her I had to think long and hard about it b/c I was tired of paying money to fail. But that's only half true. I had great success the one time I really had my head in the game. And after some soul searching, I have once again gotten my head where it needs to be. So on Thursday evening, we bundled ourselves up and walked the briskly cold 3/4 of a mile to the meeting. And I'm very glad I did. I feel better both mentally and physically already. Success stories to come, I'm confident.
I also got to text with an old sweet friend this week. I know it sounds silly to just text but when you have a four year old, sometimes talking on the phone is really NOT possible. (And honestly, sometimes texting isn't either!) Facebook has been our favored means of communication but my friend is going through some tough stuff right now and I suspected there were things he didn't want to share with me in a setting where all our mutual friends would be privy to our conversation. So I offered up my phone and shortly thereafter our text chat began. It was nothing special, nothing exciting. It was just what it sounds like, two old friends catching up. But I know it brightened my day and I hope it did the same to his.
The week was topped off by an awesome weekend of no plans. Saturday morning, G and I took Abbydog and the sled and walked the two blocks to the elementary school playground. We met the neighbors and managed to sled for almost a whole half an hour before the bitter, and I mean, B-I-T-T-E-R wind took it's toll. Even the dog decided it was time to be done and tried to get me to open the school door for her. But it didn't dampen our moods as we all headed home and reconvened in the neighbors living room with hot chocolate. G and NJ played fabulously together (they more often than not act as opposite sides of a pair of magnets, going out of their ways to repel each other) and even asked to play again after nap. And to top it all off, my husband (who just asked if I needed help spelling "supertasticly awesome husband") let me sleep in this morning and then took G to the library for some daddy/baby play time. I had two hours of complete silence to drink my tea and read the no-longer-new Barbara Kingsolver that I've been dying to start for many many months.
So that's that. Not a very creative writing-esque post and no waxing philosophical. Just the appreciation of a very good week. Here's to keeping the 'streak' alive.
Things in the world of retail are starting to slow down, finally giving us time to get product back onto the shelves and do some thorough cleaning. Who knew books could generate so much dust!? Well, okay, I did but it's still a shock to see what happens to the store when no one's had a chance to take dust rag to shelf in two months. While it's hard to get used to not having customers breathing down your neck every time you turn around, there's something to be said for the quiet, calm after the storm that allows us to breathe and get our environment back into a respectable order.
On the school front, G started back at preschool after his two week winter break and he could not have been more excited. Wednesday was his 'special day' at school. We were in charge of bringing snack (whole wheat club crackers and string cheese) and he got to take in a special toy to talk about. He chose a new remote control (or as he says, "remotka controler") car that actually lights up and can do little tricks that he got for Christmas. He then got to choose a little beanie stuffed toy to bring home along with the classroom journal to be used to write about the adventures of the toy. He choose a purple-y bluish lizard aptly named Lizzie. I was pretty sure he wouldn't care about the journal but the next day when I asked if he'd like to draw a picture of something he and Lizzie did together, he readily agreed. To my surprise he took his time and drew all over the journal page. He drew the spiky blue of the lizard's back and a very recognizable rendition of the black trampoline that he and Lizzie jumped on. Then he had me write three little sentences about their day. My favorite? Sentence number two, "Thank you bery much for yetting me bring Yizzie home to mine house." How sweet is that?? How many preschoolers are far enough out of the Ego stage to acknowledge that something is a privilege? So sweet.
In other news, my neighbor nudged me to join (or re-join, in my case) Weight Watchers. I had originally told her I had to think long and hard about it b/c I was tired of paying money to fail. But that's only half true. I had great success the one time I really had my head in the game. And after some soul searching, I have once again gotten my head where it needs to be. So on Thursday evening, we bundled ourselves up and walked the briskly cold 3/4 of a mile to the meeting. And I'm very glad I did. I feel better both mentally and physically already. Success stories to come, I'm confident.
I also got to text with an old sweet friend this week. I know it sounds silly to just text but when you have a four year old, sometimes talking on the phone is really NOT possible. (And honestly, sometimes texting isn't either!) Facebook has been our favored means of communication but my friend is going through some tough stuff right now and I suspected there were things he didn't want to share with me in a setting where all our mutual friends would be privy to our conversation. So I offered up my phone and shortly thereafter our text chat began. It was nothing special, nothing exciting. It was just what it sounds like, two old friends catching up. But I know it brightened my day and I hope it did the same to his.
The week was topped off by an awesome weekend of no plans. Saturday morning, G and I took Abbydog and the sled and walked the two blocks to the elementary school playground. We met the neighbors and managed to sled for almost a whole half an hour before the bitter, and I mean, B-I-T-T-E-R wind took it's toll. Even the dog decided it was time to be done and tried to get me to open the school door for her. But it didn't dampen our moods as we all headed home and reconvened in the neighbors living room with hot chocolate. G and NJ played fabulously together (they more often than not act as opposite sides of a pair of magnets, going out of their ways to repel each other) and even asked to play again after nap. And to top it all off, my husband (who just asked if I needed help spelling "supertasticly awesome husband") let me sleep in this morning and then took G to the library for some daddy/baby play time. I had two hours of complete silence to drink my tea and read the no-longer-new Barbara Kingsolver that I've been dying to start for many many months.
So that's that. Not a very creative writing-esque post and no waxing philosophical. Just the appreciation of a very good week. Here's to keeping the 'streak' alive.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Good Riddance 2010!
The single act of chucking last year's calendar was such a release that I dare say my 2011 is already complete. 2010 was such a crazy mix of things I couldn't change no matter how hard I tried and those I tried to change but failed b/c I had no idea how to start. And the worst of all were those that I couldn't change b/c I had no control over them. (Those are the ones that I am the worst at accepting.) So basically, it's probably pretty safe to say that 2011 will be better simply by NOT being 2010.
We're off to a good start already on this January the first. We finally found a preschool willing to nurture and love our child instead of one desperately trying to find something wrong with him just to get funding for a 'labeled' student. We're out of the terrible three's and into the loving, hilarious, and more mature four's. Basically, we have our sweet, compassionate goof ball back. Who, by the way, has taken to calling me "Em". "Hey, Em? Can I have some water please?" I'm also known as "Emilie", "Honey" and my fav, "Feetie pie" (sweetie pie).
The other big change that guarantees this year will be better is a mother-in-law-free home. Having not only survived two years of living with my father but actually coming out of that experience completely unscathed, I don't think anyone could have predicted just HOW wrongly things would go by inviting MIL into our home. What was supposed to be a healing period for her turned into a test of our marriage that at times looked like we really were not equipped to pass. Never has the adage "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" been more apropos. While she only physically stayed with us for 6 weeks, the emotional damage she created is only now, many months later, fading away. In these last months our almost 10 year relationship has taken some heavy blows. But our communication skills have improved immensely and our (okay, MY) tempers have tapered. I dare say we're starting to feel invincible.
Some of the other things that I know are going to make 2011 a better year are: the continued growth of friendship btwn my neighbors AK and JK; the amazing awesomeness that is my job and co-workers; and another year spent only 3 1/2 hrs away from my dad, his wife and their fabulously relaxing and welcoming home away from home.
Oh yeah, plus all the things I'm going to continue to make myself appreciate daily.
Today's appreciation: My life.
Happy New Year, friends. I love you all.
We're off to a good start already on this January the first. We finally found a preschool willing to nurture and love our child instead of one desperately trying to find something wrong with him just to get funding for a 'labeled' student. We're out of the terrible three's and into the loving, hilarious, and more mature four's. Basically, we have our sweet, compassionate goof ball back. Who, by the way, has taken to calling me "Em". "Hey, Em? Can I have some water please?" I'm also known as "Emilie", "Honey" and my fav, "Feetie pie" (sweetie pie).
The other big change that guarantees this year will be better is a mother-in-law-free home. Having not only survived two years of living with my father but actually coming out of that experience completely unscathed, I don't think anyone could have predicted just HOW wrongly things would go by inviting MIL into our home. What was supposed to be a healing period for her turned into a test of our marriage that at times looked like we really were not equipped to pass. Never has the adage "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" been more apropos. While she only physically stayed with us for 6 weeks, the emotional damage she created is only now, many months later, fading away. In these last months our almost 10 year relationship has taken some heavy blows. But our communication skills have improved immensely and our (okay, MY) tempers have tapered. I dare say we're starting to feel invincible.
Some of the other things that I know are going to make 2011 a better year are: the continued growth of friendship btwn my neighbors AK and JK; the amazing awesomeness that is my job and co-workers; and another year spent only 3 1/2 hrs away from my dad, his wife and their fabulously relaxing and welcoming home away from home.
Oh yeah, plus all the things I'm going to continue to make myself appreciate daily.
Today's appreciation: My life.
Happy New Year, friends. I love you all.
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